Team Skills Series. Post 1: The Effect of the Butterfly

The frog in the image above may not know there’s a butterfly on its head. The butterfly may not know it's sitting on a frog! Neither the butterfly, nor the frog, know how they appear to others. In this post, the author explores how we can use “reflecting”—using a pond, a mirror, or a camera—to learn more about how we appear to others. When we are self-aware and see ourselves as others might see us, we can be less distracted, and more effective, relaxed, present, and engaged as a team member. Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

By Chantal Lecuyer and Sheryl Mills

Introduction

If you’re reading this blog, it’s likely because you’re interested in self-reflection–or frogs, or butterflies. Although many of the ideas can be applied to anything you want to improve, the focus of this post is on using videos as a tool for reflection.

Watching a video of yourself CAN be uncomfortable. Many of us may even try to avoid it. I know I would have 5 years ago! Since that time though, I have found it to be extremely valuable to watch myself in video recordings. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and modify my behaviour, and also learn from others. I can see me as others see me – I can see the butterfly on my head!

Do you ever stand in front of a mirror to see how an outfit looks before you head out the door, or join a virtual meeting? It’s a personal choice to self-reflect on your outfit for the day. This is when you decide “yes” or “no”. If it’s a “no”, you then reflect on your outfit and commit to a new decision: “I’m going to wear the black pants, instead of these patterned ones” (or vise-versa). Ultimately, you have seen yourself how others may see you, and you are presenting yourself in a way you want to be seen. 

Now, let's say you leave the house without looking in the mirror – you’ve been distracted; the coffee spilled, the dog kept barking to get your attention, you stepped in a furball, your child announced it’s tropical swimwear day at school TODAY! You had no time to self-reflect! “Not looking” before leaving the house (or heading to your computer), may have left a stain go unnoticed (from the spilled coffee), an untoward rip slide by, or a non-stylistic seam visible because your shirt was accidentally inside out. This may or may not matter to you, but at least if you check, you are making an informed decision. You are not leaving it to others to state the obvious or ‘politely’ overlook the ‘butterfly on your head’ – or the spinach in your teeth, stain on your shirt, unsettling rip, or distracting tag.

Why would you even want to see yourself in a recorded team meeting? For me, it’s the same reason I look in the mirror before I leave the house – it’s my ‘butterfly check’. When you know you will have the recording to go back to, you can be even more present and aware in your meeting. If you are trying to adjust your behavior during the meeting, it is difficult to be fully engaged and present, just like the frog in the pond, distracted by the butterfly.

The trouble we run into is when we let our vanity, ego, or fear trump our opportunity to learn and grow. If you find it uncomfortable watching yourself in a recording, then you may want to watch a lot of recordings of yourself to increase your comfort![1]

This same concept applies to video self-reflection. You may have an interaction with peers, or faculty and think that you come across a certain way. The truth is → everyone notices something, and surprisingly the way WE think others perceive us, is often not at all how THEY perceive us! You may think you look interested, but others might think you look bored. You may think you sound clear, meanwhile others may hear “umm” frequently, or you sound timid. You may think you sound confident, but others may perceive you as arrogant. None of which are descriptors of a great team member.

Using videos as a tool for self-reflection is a wonderful opportunity to see yourself the way the world sees you, butterflies and all. It may be difficult at first, but over time you will build your confidence, and improve your communication, decision-making, and team skills (Brussart, 2016). Ultimately, self-reflection using a video is valuable, because it allows YOU to assess yourself, which then allows YOU to improve yourself, which then decreases the likelihood that you will hear it from someone else….which can be more uncomfortable for both you and the observer (remember, spinach in your teeth).

The first video I watched of myself, I thought, “Oh, Chantal! 😬”.

Now? I appreciate the opportunity to record meetings and regularly review them[2]. It is an ongoing part of my personal, and professional growth and development. Here are a few butterflies I noticed, and worked through[3]:

🦋

Butterflies I noticed

Assessing butterflies

Addressing butterflies

1

I sound timid

 

I think this is common when I meet people for the first time because I’m nervous, or not feeling confident.

 

Meet with people more frequently, set up meetings ahead of time, arrange to have several positive interactions before meeting on camera.

2

I can sound nervous

 

Although I don’t typically say “uumm”, I tend to repeat content I’m comfortable with. It helps ground me, it’s like going back to known territory.

 

Not saying “uumm” has taken a lot of practice to erase or minimize[4], and I now go into meetings more prepared with clear processes.

3

I use repeated phrases

 

Perhaps to cover nervousness.

 

Same as above

4

My background is distracting to me[5] so I kept my camera facing upward to minimize the view of my background. I noticed that this made me look less engaged, and I looked like a talking head!

 

I wanted to have a more professional background. I didn’t want to be sharing my personal environment with everyone I was meeting. 

 

I now use the background effect option of platforms (first attempts included a curtain. This continues to be my plan B.). By lowering my camera angle my hands and body language are more visible, and I appear more engaged. I also feel more relaxed, and less nervous.

5

Recording with Microsoft Teams gave me a small camera view.

 

I wanted to be able to reflect more easily by having a larger view.

 

I planned on shifting to using Zoom, but I discovered that addressing butterfly #4 increased my confidence, which in turn addressed all of my butterflies. And I no longer need a bigger screen!

 

After making adjustments to my butterflies, I realized that I can appreciate my facial expressions and body language, even with a small screen! If I can appreciate myself in such a small format, I can only imagine the impact I have on a larger scale! The improved camera angle and background effect improved my confidence so much that my voice became less timid. Also, with each meeting, the state of “timidness” is becoming shorter and shorter.

Just as I used the lovely free record-meeting feature, you can too! It’s found in most online meeting platforms 😉. You can stay fully present and engaged in your meeting the entire time, knowing you can refer to the recording to do a thoughtful reflection afterwards. When you watch a recording of yourself in a meeting, you can look for the following – your butterflies:

  1. How do you feel about your background?
  2. Where do you appear to be focused?[6]
  3. How is your camera angle? (Can you see hand gestures – not your bellybutton or up your nose?)
  4. How responsive are your facial expressions to what’s going on in the meeting?[7]
  5. How attentive do others appear as you’re speaking?
  6. How attentive do you appear as others are speaking?[8]
  7. How many times do you participate?
  8. How many times do you invite others to participate?
  9. What messages are you sending with your body language? (This is easier to see if you turn the volume down or off.)
  10. What messages are you sending with the tone of your voice? (This is easier to assess with the video off, or you can close your eyes.) 

I have found that even making the smallest changes can start a cascade that results in significant improvements. After I read Bussart’s article, I started using videos as a tool for self-reflection. Ever since, I’m no longer self conscious about watching myself on video, and instead, I look forward to seeing how I have implemented what I have learned, and engage as a fully present team member. Not only am I more confident, I also feel I am presenting myself more professionally[9]! I hope that this post will have the same inspirational outcome for you as Bussart’s article did for me! All the best on your journey into self-reflection. May you love every butterfly you find.  

 

[1] This provides the opportunity for desensitization.

[2] Video self-reflection is an opportunity for objective feedback, and is the cheapest 360 you can gift yourself..

[3] I used a Quality Improvement approach. HQC offers a FREE online Introduction to Quality Improvement course. It’s only 2 hours long, and I found it very valuable.

[4] I have learned that a brief pause is less noticeable to observers and less distracting than hearing “uumm”. It signifies that you are processing your answer, and giving thought to what you are about to say. Remember, what seems like a long time to you, doesn’t usually seem long to observers.

[5] If I find my background distracting, I assume that others do as well. A distracting background may mean others are focused on the content in my space, rather than what I am saying – highlighting butterflies!

[6] In some of the meetings that I attend, it is common practice for us to describe the layout of our setup. For example, will you be using a separate monitor to look things up or take notes? When we focus on areas other than the camera, we may be mis-cuing others in the meeting to think we are not engaged, even though we may be taking notes or checking a quote that somebody shared with the group. Additionally, many of us have a different face when we are concentrating on “desk work” than we do when we are engaged with others.

[7] Laughing at the wrong time, delayed response that is not caused by technology failure or poor internet connection.

[8] Did you nod, or shake your head at the right time while others were communicating? Were you looking down, which may be perceived as signals of non-engagement. This can come across as disrespectful or disinterested, even though that is not your intention.

[9] The entire video may be of interest to you, and it’s only ~4 min in length, but at 3:20 min they discuss looking professional based on your context.